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Good Ways To Last Longer In Bed
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Tips To Improve Your Sex Life
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This article was peer reviewed by Arik V. Marcell, MD, MPH, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, Adolescent Medicine, Johns Hopkins Children’s Center and University.
Our stories are reviewed by medical professionals to ensure you get the most accurate and useful information about your health and wellness. For more information, visit the medical review board.
Angle Down Icon An icon in the shape of an angle pointing down. If you almost always ejaculate after less than a minute of sex, it may be diagnosed with premature ejaculation. Crystal Cox/Business Insider
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If you’re worried that you’re ejaculating too quickly in bed, you’re not alone—about one in three men in the U.S. report having problems with premature ejaculation. It’s not clear why this happens, but scientists believe it’s a combination of psychological and biological factors.
If you can’t have sex for as long as you’d like, there are several strategies that can help.
If you’re struggling to finish too early, here are 20 things you can do that might help.
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Support from your partner can be an important part of the process. “For starters, tell your partner you want to try to last longer and ask your partner if he’s interested in that,” says Vanessa Marin, MFT, a licensed sex therapist in private practice.
This can help your partner understand what’s going on and help you talk openly about any feelings of frustration. Once communication is open with your partner, you can discuss what exactly triggers your orgasm and try practicing the methods below.
Since premature ejaculation can be a result of hypersensitivity, using a condom is a simple solution that can make sex last longer. The condom forms a barrier around the penis that dulls sensation and can lead to delayed ejaculation.
Desensitizing condoms come with numbing agents such as benzocaine or lidocaine that reduce genital sensitivity and are designed to numb the penis during sexual activity
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Although these numbing agents are safe and effective in treating premature ejaculation, side effects can include allergic dermatitis and penile gangrene.
“The theory is that you stop the flow, let the penis rest, and then come back to it to increase your time,” says Brahmbat.
Brahmbatt says this can be one of the most difficult treatments for premature ejaculation because it requires a lot of self-control. Repeated practice and clear communication with your partner can make the process easier.
Your pelvic floor muscles are located just below your prostate and rectum, and like other muscles, they can be strengthened through exercise. Experts believe that if your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, it may be harder for you to delay ejaculation.
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To flex your pelvic floor muscles, act as if you are trying to stop yourself from peeing or passing gas and feel which muscles are moving. To tone these muscles, follow these steps:
Quick tip: Kegel exercises can also help strengthen your pelvic floor. Check out our complete guide to kegel exercises for both men and women.
Thrusting quickly creates intense arousal and can make you more likely to have an orgasm after a short period of time. Pushing quickly can also make it harder to recognize more subtle sensations in your body, and you may not realize you’re getting close to orgasm, says Marin.
“Try to move at a slower pace and take regular short breaks to go really slow,” says Marin. You may be surprised that some partners may like slower motion, especially at the beginning of sex.
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Positions that restrict your movement, such as having your partner on top, can also be helpful because you can’t lose control and start thrusting too quickly.
When you change positions, you need to take a little break and slow down your movements.
“You don’t get as much stimulation during transition, so it allows your body to cool down and come out of orgasm,” says Marin.
Positions that you can’t penetrate as deep can also help, such as a spoon position where you are the “big spoon”.
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Quick tip: To learn more sex positions you can try, read our guide to the best sex positions.
Spending more time on foreplay can help you last longer in bed. In a confidential survey conducted in the US about people’s experiences with orgasm, sexual pleasure and genital touch, more than a third answered that stimulation was necessary for orgasm.
The climax is the process of reaching the edge of orgasm and then stopping to calm down before starting again.
To make it last longer during sex, repeat the cutting process as many times as possible, says Marin. Since you’re not allowing yourself to orgasm and you’re taking periodic breaks, you’ll naturally last longer.
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Masturbating before sex can help you last longer because your body won’t be as sensitive to sexual stimulation, says Marin.
It may take some trial and error to learn how long before sex you should masturbate. Because if you masturbate right before sex, it can be difficult to get an erection again so soon. But if you have an orgasm too many hours before, you may be fully recovered by the time you have sex and ejaculate too quickly.
Basically, you want to find that sweet spot where you reduce your arousal but don’t kill your sex drive, says Marin.
There are several ways that sex toys can help you with premature ejaculation. You can use these toys to practice managing your orgasm by masturbating with them and stopping right before you reach orgasm.
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On the other hand, sex toys could also be used to satisfy your partner if you cannot maintain an erection long enough for your partner to reach orgasm.
Another option is to distract yourself with other thoughts, such as something simple like what to eat for dinner or a movie you saw last week. This can help take your mind off the pleasurable sensations you are having and may delay ejaculation for a while.
However, it can also take away your enjoyment of sex and intimacy with your partner. You can try to see if this method helps you last longer in certain moments, but in general, remember to stay present and connected to your partner during sex.
Prescription numbing medications use ingredients such as lidocaine and prilocaine, which generally come as creams or sprays that will reduce sensitivity and can be a useful way to treat premature ejaculation.
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Numbing creams or sprays should be carefully applied to the penis 20 to 30 minutes before sex to be most effective. You should also wash the cream off before having sex so it doesn’t affect your partner.
“Make sure your partner knows you’re using it—as a warning and also to make sure they don’t have a history of an allergic reaction or a problem with using it,” says Brahmbatt.
Although a poor diet is not directly linked to premature ejaculation, proper nutrition can help prevent metabolic syndrome (MetS), which could be involved with premature ejaculation (PE).
MetS is a health condition that increases the risk of many diseases such as diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke and other serious health problems. This is associated with health problems such as obesity, high blood pressure and blood sugar levels, high blood triglycerides and low HDL cholesterol.
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In a study on the relationship between MetS and PE, analysis revealed that MetS components can significantly affect sexual performance due to premature ejaculation. Studies are inconclusive as to exactly why MetS affects PE, but it may involve hormones, depression, and vitamin deficiencies.
Although sildenafil (Viagra) is usually prescribed to treat men who have trouble maintaining an erection, research shows that it may also help with premature ejaculation.
A 2007 study found that Viagra helped men with premature ejaculation last longer and was more effective than the stop-squeeze technique. At the end of the study, 87% of people who used Viagra said they wanted to continue this treatment, compared to 45% of people who used stop and squeeze.
Talking with your healthcare provider can help you review your health history and determine which of the above options are best for you.
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A sex therapist can also be a valuable resource, especially if you think your premature ejaculation is related to an issue like stress or lack of experience.
For example, sex therapists can help you identify feelings before or during sex that may affect how quickly you orgasm, or help teach you how to do Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvis
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